I'm not sure if I am being a glutton for punishment or if I'm being a "good Christian daughter." I know that we are to honor our parents, but God requires things from us as parents too. He wants mothers to nurture their children and He instructs fathers to never provoke their children. He wants the love to be between parents and children and it should not be one way.
I am sure I have friends with different perspectives than mine. One friend who is as loving as she tough feels like my parents should have been cut off a long time ago. My friends who grew up with me and witnessed the abuse that I suffered first hand, are amazed that I speak to her at all. I know people on the other side of the spectrum, my brother for instance, believes his mother can do NO wrong. I guess I have become a realist, in this instance anyway. I take it for what it is and I will continue in this mess until I can’t take it anymore.
I forgave my mother for trying to ruin my life by slander years ago, but she has never corrected her mess. Now it’s awkward when she is around her friends, because she has to keep these lies’ going. So I may not hear from her unless I call her this week, because one of these friends flew into see her today. I wish I could say that I am grateful for this friend, but she isn’t coming because my mom is sick, this was planned before. My daughter picked her up from the airport and this woman does not want to go see my mom in the hospital, instead she wants to lay in my mother’s house and eat her food, watch her television and chill.
So, not only did she lie on me and keep this lie going, but she lied to this friend who could care less about her, while I bust my butt to make sure she is okay. It goes without saying that I love my mom. I want to focus on the positives of our relationship and I can honestly say that I’ve grown and I don’t require anything more of my mom for me to continue loving her. I will say that it makes the healing process harder for me when I am confronted with a hurt of the past and nothing is done to rectify the situation. So now what shall I do? I will continue to be the dutiful daughter who dare not speak about these feelings with her, now or never. I will continue to check on her and call her and pray for her and be concerned for her and love her regardless of her flaws.