I had a hard time telling the difference between the two for a long time. When I am faced with someone’s hatred toward me, it usually comes as a shock, and from a loved one. The hatred of someone I hold dear is the type of hatred that hurts the most, and it is usually mistaken for conflict. I have learned that years of conflicts can actually come from bitterness and hatred. I have chosen to bow out of this battle of hatred. Conflict will always be present, and I will deal with that, but when it comes to inviting hatred into my life, I won’t do that any longer. Conflict has a way of resolving itself, it doesn’t aim to hurt you or harm you. It doesn’t agree with people hurting you or harming you. It doesn’t lay dormant in the center of the heart like hatred only to reveal itself when you need love the most.
I believe that one of the reasons we do things that we don’t want to do is because we are afraid of conflict. This is the reason why people stay in abusive relationships of any kind (parents, kids, work, significant others). Sometimes we hold on to people that hurt us because of who they are. And what kind of person would I be if I shut out an abusive parent or child for that matter? What kind of person would I be if I put my health and sanity first for once? What if I responded to someone, without sin, but with honesty and what if they were uncomfortable with it, what is the worse that could happen? I know for me, I had to let go of the people in my life who are hell bent on trying to hurt me at every turn. I had to release them, in order to receive healing. I had to let them go.
Today, I choose to surround myself with love, which does not always mean acceptance, but there is a level of consideration that will always be given. I am learning to let go of everything that does not mean to prosper me. I believe that everyone has a right to their own feelings, and I support that, I also enforce my right to walk away. I can love from a distance, I can forgive, I can pray for forgiveness, but I won’t allow myself to be hurt any longer by people who don’t have my best interest at heart. I don’t care who you are, whose you are, who you claim to be, I’m done.
The Word says: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11